"Hey Kids, Kendrick Lamar is Sober Too"
My kids still think it’s “cool” that my husband and I don’t drink. They are ages 13 and 11 and I know that my “cool factor” is on borrowed time. My daughter is already humiliated that my “water bottle” is an old mason jar with a peeling salsa label instead of a $45 “preppy” water bottle. I remember when “preppy” meant well, I can’t think of the right word because the only way to describe “preppy” of old is by using the word “preppy.” The movie Clueless comes to mind. As a young girl, I always rejected “preppy” probably because I couldn’t afford those cute outfits and name brands. So I opted for smoking and drinking as an identity instead. That didn’t turn out very well.
Back to the point.
Thankfully, my kids have no memory of me as a drunk mom (slurring my speech, acting out of character and repeating myself over and over). I don’t think that they really understand what it means that my husband and I don’t drink but I do know that they don’t want us parenting them while chemically altered. For now, they view alcohol in the same way that they view all drugs-harmful, damaging, cancer causing, life threatening and extremely addictive. It would be very confusing for us to drink around them.
However, we are not their only influence and the older they get they are going to turn to others for what is acceptable.
That’s where Kendrick Lamar comes in. In my Influenced Course one of my favorite things to do is show teens scenes from movies like The Hangover and then explain to them that most of the actors in that film are actually sober. I go over a whole group of famous people that don’t drink and we discuss why actors might be sober but promote alcohol or play characters that drink (money/fame/accolades/healing journey/etc).
Kendrick Lamar has always been on my list as someone that is completely sober and badass. While he’s always had a very successful music career, he’s having a moment. He just won five Grammy’s and last night he performed at the Super Bowl. During his performance he rapped that it’s “bigger than the music” in what appeared to be a message for America about the deep systematic racism that still exists today (oh, and also his beef with Drake).
We sat as a family and watched him while thoroughly feeling entertained and inspired. The whole family knew most of the songs that he sang. I didn’t miss the opportunity to point out to the kids that he’s completely sober (like us).
For most of the Super Bowls past, I’ve had to spend my time explaining to the kids how all of the alcohol commercials were harmful and how they are just marketing tactics to get us to think of alcohol as safe and useful. (I wrote about this in one of my most popular blog posts here). But last night, at least for the first half, I noticed less commercials about booze. In fact, there was even one about a NA beverage (Heineken 00) and one encouraging women to prevent breast cancer (in lieu of commercials by alcohol brands who’s product ultimately leads to breast cancer in women). This is on trend with the fact that alcohol is having less of a moment. How would my daughter say it? “It Giving” healthy sober vibes and I’m here for it.
It was an honor to see Kendrick Lamar’s performance last night. Watching a sober black man perform on one of the biggest stages of all time definitely felt “bigger than the music.” I hope his performance has lasting impact on our culture in the same way it will in our home.
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A few months back my son (17) said “mom, you need to listen to this song.” He played me Mother I Sober. I listened and then very teary eyed thanked him for sharing it with me. He said, “I really admire Kendrick for the stuff he writes about and stands for and I know you would too”
It’s not often my teenage son pulls me in for connection and I’m always grateful when he does. I am so thankful Kendrick is blasting his messages all while sparkling under the light and power of sobriety ✨✨
Thanks for this. I had no idea about any of this (who Kendrick Lamar is, etc.) I love bridging mainstream entertainment with carrying a message that helps people.