Writing To Heal
Thanks for being here at Ask A Sober Person. This is where I share old blog posts, new content and anything relevant that has helped me live a life that is Alcohol Free.
My story of becoming alcohol free is a story about mental health. If it weren’t for my debilitating anxiety I wouldn’t have been searching for help. My search led me to the connection between alcohol and anxiety/depression and the rest is history. I’m closing in on almost 8 years of sobriety and while my mental health isn’t perfect, the lows don’t compare to what they were when alcohol was my only coping skill.
Today I have a whole arsenal of coping skills to lower anxiety and deal with stress. The thought of drinking never crosses my mind (ever). But my favorite coping skill, and the one that probably saved my life is writing. I recently read a quote that said “write even when you don’t know what to write about-but make it truthful.” When I finally wrote my truth, I was free.
Writing is still my go to when I need to work out problems or manage tough feelings. It’s how I create meaning out of life.
If you’re not writing as part of your mental health practice, here are 5 ways to start.
Morning pages. These are life-changing. Julia Cameron wrote a book called the Artist’s Way in which she writes about all the ways to bring out your inner creativity. She advises starting every day with three hand written, unedited pages. For me, these are a must. I wake up, get out my notebook and I start blabbing away about whatever comes up in the moment. There is no rhythm, punctuation is an afterthought and I let it flow. I don’t re-read the pages or share them with anyone. Instead I think of these pages as a natural cleansing that rids my head of all the junky thoughts. Once finished, I have clarity and intention for the day ahead.
Gratitude List. With everything going right in my life I still somehow find a way to focus on what’s wrong. If prompted, I could tell you about all kinds of problems with myself and with the world right now. When I interrupt those thoughts with a list of things I’m grateful for, I refocus my attention and my energy shifts. Sometimes I list very specific things, like the warm sweater I put on in the mornings so that I feel cozy. Other times, I remind myself what a privilege it is to have clean water and then I ponder all the ways that water adds value to my life.
Write the Note/Text/Email (but don’t send it). When I’m triggered I want to talk about it. I want to tell the people/person/place exactly what it is that went wrong and process the whole ordeal. As an empath, I’ve always had a strong sense of justice backed with strong emotions. The truth is, not every single frustrating matter needs to be processed.
Instead, I have a notes section both on my computer and on my phone where I jot down my triggers. But, I DO NOT send. Sometimes I just want my side of the story heard. Once I “take it to the page” I usually feel better. When I write it down, it gets out of my body and my mind and makes more sense. I find clarity.
Write a letter to yourself. This is a therapy trick that I learned many years ago. Talk to yourself like you would talk to someone you love and respect. It’s hard, right?!?! I’m much more likely to point out my flaws, put myself down and only focus on what’s going wrong. When I get into a negative spiral I like to write myself a letter. If I’ve made a mistake, I point it out with love and focus on forgiveness. If I feel like I’m failing I write to myself about all the ways I’ve succeeded. Honestly, this is hard. Sometimes it feels a bit icky even. But I’m a firm believer that what you believe about yourself creates your reality. So I want to keep my thoughts as positive as I can. A little love letter is a great reminder.
Write the book. I get tons of questions on how to write a book. Ironically, most of those questions are not related to writing. They are more like how do you find time, where do you go, who is your editor, how did you find a publisher, what software did you use, etc. To which I reply-is your book already written? To which most reply-well, no. If you’ve got a story inside you-pushing to come out-you must start writing. Get out a notebook or open a word document and let the words flow. You don’t have to have all the answers on how to be a published author. Just start writing. The process itself will guide you and lead the way. Writing my book was one of the most healing things I’ve ever done. Even if a single person never read it, it was a must do for my healing journey. I know many authors who would agree. So just start writing!
Writing is a wonderful healing tool and one that has helped me navigate sobriety and anxiety. As Paul Simon said, “If you want to be a writer, but don’t know how or when. Find a quiet place, use a humble pen.” Find an old notebook, open to a blank page and see where it takes you…
FREE WRITING MATERIALS
Explore Your Relationship to Alcohol EJournal
Want something more? Check out one of my writing workshops.
Writing has helped me process and heal more in the last 6 months of being sober than I was able to in the entire 2.5 years before that (when I wasn’t writing).